_The Mendele Review_: Yiddish Literature and Language (A Companion to _MENDELE_) ______________________________________________________ Contents of Vol. 01.024 31 October 1997 1) Yiddish Matters: a. Whose Vilna? b. Romanization in the _The Mendele Review_ (Leonard Prager) 2) The Yivo Autobiographies (Michael Steinlauf and Rachel Wizner) 3) "Oytobiografye" (Leyzer Volf) 1)---------------------------------------------------- Date: 31 October 1997 From: Leonard Prager Subject: Whose Vilna? A 1930s autobiography of a Yiddish poet would not on the face of it seem to have much to do with current conflicts. But being a record of a decidedly secular Jewish life in Vilna, Leyzer Volf's story somehow comments on the recent efforts of the Lithuanian government (after having given a general amnesty to its Nazi collaborators who helped murder thousand of Jews) to appropriate the Vilna Gaon as the consummate symbol of the centuries-old Jewish presence in Lithuania. The appropriation has angered some Jewish circles for a number of reasons. On the one hand there is resentment at the annexation of the Vilna Gaon into the "national cultural pantheon of Lithuania," as Eliyahu Salpeter puts it (HaAretz 15 October 1997); and David Assaf (HaAretz, 15 October 1997) questions if _any_ figure may be regarded as representative of all Lithuanian Jews, reminding us that Vilna, especially, in addition to being a great religious center, was a thriving hub of Zionism (in all its varieties), of modern Hebrew education and culture, of Jewish trade-unions, of the Bund (and other varieties of Jewish socialism and diaspora nationalism), of Yiddish literature, Yiddish press (dailies, weeklies, monthlies, annuals), Yiddish theater, Yiddish choirs -- and yes, as we learn below, of Jewish soccer teams and Jewish toughs. Date: 31 October 1997 From: Leonard Prager Subject: Romanization in the _TMR_ At the suggestion of Refoyl Finkl, creator of the Yiddish Typewriter (see http://www.cs.uky.edu/~raphael/yiddish/yiddishmaker.html) _The Mendele Review_ will, on an experimental basis, romanize Yiddish texts so as to facilitate conversion to Yiddish-letter texts. The changes are relatively few and readers should not be too discomfited -- considering the advantages gained. The rules call for 1) non-usage of capital letters except for the first letter of a Hebrew proper name (e.g. Refoyl finkl), 2) use of the vertical bar (|) between t and s when these letters do not represent the letter tsadik (e.g. got|s, elt|stn), 3) use of the vertical bar (|) to divide Hebrew-Aramaic from non-Hebrew-Aramaic word elements (e.g. khaver|tes, far|peysekh) and from other Hebrew-Aramaic elements (e.g. sh|b|letste), 4) use of e in final unstressed position of Hebrew words (e.g. sonem) -- even where MEYYED often has i, 5) use of ~ between letters in emphasized words. There are a few other small matters which can be explained as we become accustomed to the new system. Mendelyaner who wish to read _TMR_'s romanized Yiddish texts in Yiddish will now be able to do so (provided they have the proper hardware and software). If the experiment is successful we will try to conform all past issues to the same standard. A large regularized corpus of Yiddish texts could then be permanently available for analysis and study in both Latin and Yiddish letters. 2)---------------------------------------------------- Date: 31 October 1997 From: Michael Steinlauf and Rachel Wizner Subject: Introduction to Leyzer Volf's "Autobiography" Michael Steinlauf and Rachel Wizner Introduction to Leyzer Volf's "Autobiography" On three occasions in the 1930's -- 1932, 1934 and 1939 -- YIVO (located at the time, let us recall, in Vilna, which was in Poland) announced contests for autobiographies written by Jewish young people. The contests were the brainchild of Max Weinreich, who saw them as a means of collecting data to help the Jewish youth of Poland better understand themselves and thereby help shape their future. Weinreich's agenda, in other words, like that of the pre-Holocaust YIVO as a whole, was diaspora nationalist; the book he wrote based on his preliminary study of the autobiographies was entitled _Der veg tsu undzer yugnt_ ('The path to our youth') [Vilna, 1935]. Weinreich hardly worked in a vacuum; comparable contemporary studies were undertaken among Polish peasant youth, in Austria and in the United States. (See Barbara Kirschenblatt-Gimblett, "Coming of Age in the Thirties: Max Weinreich, Edward Sapir, and Jewish Social Science," _YIVO Annual_ 23 (1996): 1-103.) Contestants had to be between 16 and 22 years of age. They were promised anonymity and encouraged to write candidly. The prizes, considering contemporary Jewish poverty, were attractive; in 1939, for example, first prize was 150 zlotys or about $30. Also attractive was the possibility of being honored by YIVO, which for many Polish Jews represented the pinnacle of modern Jewish cultural achievement. By the end of the decade, YIVO had collected about 600 such autobiographies, two-thirds in Yiddish and one-third in Polish. About half of these texts survived the Holocaust, and are currently located in the YIVO archives in New York. A selection of them has been translated into English and is currently being prepared for publication by the undersigned. Yiddish and Polish editions of some of the autobiographies will also be published. Leyzer Mekler, the future poet Leyzer Volf, submitted his autobiography for the first contest in 1932. This accords with the date on the manuscript (July 4, 1932) and the closing date for entries for that year (August 20, 1932). Leyzer Ran, who wrote the introduction and supplied the notes to Volf's "Lider" (New York, 1955), which includes the autobiography, states erroneously that it was submitted in 1934. Volf would have been too old to compete in 1934 -- he was born in 1910. Some contestants did resubmit their autobiographies but Volf was not one of them. It has also been claimed that his autobiography won first prize. In the 1932 contest there were no more than 40 entries. Four money prizes were awarded and there were 11 honorable mentions (they received books). Leyzer Mekler's name does not appear among these. Why the mistake? First of all, the contests had such prestige in the Yiddish world that it was not uncommon for contestants (or their friends and family) to claim they received awards even when they hadn't. Secondly, in 1932 the entries were assigned numbers according to their date of arrival at YIVO. Leyzer Volf's was the first entry received and was assigned the number 1, which may later have been misinterpreted as meaning that he won first prize. The error may have been compounded by the whimsical pseudonym he chose: Anonim numer 1001. The following excerpt, taken from the announcement of the 1932 YIVO contest, is useful as a context for Volf's autobiography. "yeder shrayber hot fule frayhayt baym oysklaybn un oyfshteln dem materyal. mir rufn ober on etlekhe punktn vos es volt gut geven tsu barirn: ir un ayer mishpokhe. milkhome-yorn. lerer. shuln un vos zey hobn aykh gegebn. khaveyrem. khaver|tes. yugnt-organizatsyes. partey-lebn un vos dos hot aykh gegebn. vi azoy zayt ir tsugekumen tsu ayer fakh oder vi azoy klaybt ir zikh tsutsukumen. voser pasirung in ayer lebn hot oyf aykh gemakht dem grestn ayndruk." ('Each writer has complete liberty in the choice and arrangement of material. We mention however several points it would be good to touch upon: You and your family. The war years. Teachers. Schools and what they gave you. Male friends. Female friends. Youth organizations. Life in a political party and what it gave you. How did you decide on a trade or how are you going about deciding on one. What event in your life made the greatest impression on you.') Michael Steinlauf Rachel Wizner 3)---------------------------------------------------- Date: 31 October 1997 From: Claus Buryn Subject: "oytobiografye" (leyzer volf) ---------------------------------------------------- leyzer volf oytobiografye (1932) * ** *** 1. kh'bin geborn gevorn in yor 1910 in vilne bay oreme eltern. der tate a shtubmaler, di mame a shtubike [baleboste]. ikh bin shoyn geven dos drite yingl un dos ferte kind, azoy, az mayn geburt hot keyn groyse freyd nisht gebrakht. dertsu bin ikh nokh geborn gevorn fizish zeyer shvakh, kemat on a hoyt, azoy az men hot mikh a tsayt lang gedarft bodn in vaser gemisht mit milkh.... ikh heyb on tsu gedenken fun a yor tsvey-dray. di ershte dire undzere, vos ikh gedenk, hot zikh gefunen oyfn tsveytn gorn. zi hot gehat an estsimer mit tsvey "farmuges" [framuges: nishes], a finstern shloftsimer un a kleyne kikh. ikh gedenk a por bilder oyf di vent. oyf eyn bild hot zikh gefunen a beroze [bereze] in nepl un di shlankayt fun der beroze [bereze] flegt mikh dermonen di figur fun mayn elterer shvesters a khaver|te. mayn tatn gedenk ikh nit in di ershte yorn fun mayn kindhayt, vayl er iz dan geven in amerike. ikh gedenk nor vi eynmol iz mayn elterer bruder gelofn oyf di trep un geshrien: "der tate fort." dernokh iz gekumen der tate mit tsvey shvartse tshemodanes [valizes]. fun di kvartirantkes undzere gedenk ikh ambestn eyne a geshtuplte nit keyn sheyne fraylin, ober zeyer a hartsike. zi iz geven a zokn-shtrikerke un hot bay undz farnumen a "farmuge" [framuge] mit ir mashin. zi iz geven a nit-hige [nit-lokale] un ale peysekh flegt zi forn aheym. arbetn flegt zi fun fri biz nakht un dan flegt zi di zokn oyfleygn un avektrogn tsum komisyoner, oyf velkhn zi flegt zikh zeyer baklogn, az er baavlt zi. a khuts der zokn-shtrikerke hobn nokh bay undz gevoynt dray shvesterkinder mayne. tsvey zaynen oykh geven zokn-shtrikerkes un eyne a bekerke. di bekerke iz shpeter geshtorbn, nor ir toyt gedenk ikh nit. eyn shvesterkind mayne hot gearbet in a geheyme "kruzhok" [krayz], mistome in "bund". zi flegt zingen bay der arbet revolutsyonere lider un flegt oft brengen aheym "literatur," vegn vos zi flegt zikh krign mit mayn mamen.... di zelbike hot gehat a khosn a mekhanishn shuster -- zeyer a mis|er, ober zeyer a voyler tsu alemen un tsu undz kinder. mayn ershte khaver|te iz geven in mayn elter a yor dray-fir. undzer hoyf-balebostes a meydele. ale inderfri fleg ikh geyn tsu ir zikh shpiln. zi hot gehat zeyer a sakh tsatskes, lyalkes, betelekh un kindershe gefes. ikh fleg zikh opshpiln mit ir gantse teg. men flegt mikh koym aroysnarn oyf a vayle in shtub arayn tsum esn. ikh gedenk nit mir zoln zikh hobn ven es iz gekrigt. mir flegn zikh shpiln bay zey in groysn zal. shpeter hobn zikh undzere shpiln aribergetrogn oyfn hoyf un es zaynen tsugekumen nokh eynike kinder, a tunkl meydele -- a koymenkerers un andere. mir flegn zikh shpiln in tate-mame, shpeter in yogenish un baheltenish. der hoyf iz geven a kleyner, mit a bisl groz tsvishn shteyner. s'hot zikh oyf im gefunen a shmideray, azoy az ferd flegn zayn a gantsn tog. mir hobn zikh tsu di ferd tsugevoynt un far zey keyn moyre gehat. der tate iz gekumen fun amerike a kranker un zikh bald geleygt in bet arayn. mitn bisl gelt, vos er hot gebrakht, hot men bashlosn tsu makhn a farb-krom, fun vanen tsu tsien di khayune [fardinen zikh dos lebn] mir hobn gedungen mit a hoyf vayter a krom. di eltere shvester iz gevorn di kremerke. frier iz zi geven a shnayderke un zi hot zeyer nit gevolt shteyn in krom. nokh dem hot zi zikh tsugevoynt. zi flegt zitsn un leyenen rusishe bikher, vayl di leyzung [di hakhnose] iz geven nit keyn groyse. un fun dem hot men gelebt. der elterer bruder iz gegangen in kheyder. ikh bin nokh geven kleyn un nokh geshpilt zikh. unter mir iz shoyn geven nokh a bruderl. vi er iz geborn gevorn gedenk ikh nit. er hot gehat hele herelekh un shtendik flegt er zitsn un veynen. dernokh iz gekumen di tsayt, ven ikh hob shoyn oykh gedarft geyn in kheyder. ikh bin dan mistome alt geven a yor fir. di mame hot mikh avekgefirt in an engn tunkeln tsimer, ful mit shmutsike yinglekh. der rebe hot mir gevizn an alef un geheyst zikh zetsn. ven di mame iz avek, hot der rebe genumen shmaysn a yingele. dem yingls gevaldn hobn mikh azoy fa[r]drikt dos hertsl, az ikh bin zikh fargangen in a geveyn un antlofn aheym. nokh dem hot men ba mir shoyn keyn mol nit ge|poyel|t, nit mit gutn, nit mit beyzn, ikh zol nokh amol geyn in kheyder. kh'hob zikh far|akshn|t [kh'hob zikh ayngeshpart] un mer far keyn shum prayz nit gevolt hern derfun. ikh gedenk nit tsi men hot mikh geshlogn derfar. dukht zikh az nit, vayl mayne eltern hobn b|klal kemat keyn mol zeyere kinder nit geshlogn. bin ikh geblibn dervayl vider a fir-yoriker "pust-un-pasnik" [leydik-geyer] un zikh vayter geshpilt mit undzer balebostes meydele. dernokh, ven es zaynen ongelofn fun umetum di "byezhentses" [pleytem] in vilne, hot zikh tsu undz in hoyf arayngeklibn a grodner "byezhenets," iz er geven a rebe. hot di mame im gedungen, er zol lernen mit mir in shtub. mit dem rebn hob ikh ayngeshtimt tsu lernen. er hot mit mir gelernt alefbeyz un shpeter sider. azoy vi ikh fleg nokhanand zikh shpiln bay mayn khaver|te, flegt der rebe oft arayngeyn ahin un dort mit mir lernen, hot zikh tseshrien mayn khaver|te, az zi vil oykh lernen mitn rebn. farvos ikh? hobn mir shoyn beyde nokh mit mer kheyshek gelernt baym rebn. shpeter a bisl hot undz mayn khaver|tes an eltere shvester gelernt shraybn yidish.(1) zi flegt undz onshraybn a shure mit a gevisn os un mir flegn darfn nokhshraybn. ikh hob gezogt az der lange tsadek zet oys vi a kotshere un mayn khaver|te, -- az der lange fey zet oys vi a pomele [heymfayer-bezem] b|klal hobn mir beyde gehat a sakh fargenign fun undzer lernen un keyn opkumenish iz es far undz keyn mol nit geven. nokhn lernen flegn mir zikh vider nemen tsum shpiln. 2. eynmol, dos iz dukht zikh tishebov fun yor 1914, iz mayn shvester gekumen fun gas un dertseylt, az men hot oysgeklept "obavlyenyes" [rusish: deklaratsyes] vegn mobilizatsye. di verter zaynen far mir geven nay un umfarshtendlekh, nor ikh hob shtendik lib gehat zikh tsutsuhern vos groyse reydn un kh'hob fun destvegn fun ir dertseylt az es handlt zikh vegn umgeveyntlekh ernste zakhn, vegn milkhome, az me vet harg|enen, az der tate vet efsher darfn geyn oyfn front, tsum toyt.... dernokh iz in shtot gevorn zeyer umruik, a sakh militer. nor biz nayn azeyger ovnt, dukht zikh, flegt men torn geyn oyf di gasn. oysnam-tsushtand. alts iz gevorn tayer. dem tatn hot men tsugenumen tsu der arbet ergets oyf brikn. baynakht flegt men farhengen di shoybn keyn fayer zol nit durkhlaykhtn oyf der gas. eynmol, gedenk ikh, hot men shoyn nit gekent krign keyn vays broyt un di eltere shvester hot geshrien, az zi meg afile shtarbn, vet zi keyn shvarts broyt in moyl nit nemen. di prayzn oyf shpayz-artiklen zaynen geshtoygn on oyfher un der tate hot eynmol gebrakht a zak kornmel un gezogt, az mir veln aleyn bakn broyt. di mame hot zikh tseshrien mit kas, az zi vet keyn broyt nit bakn. shpeter hot zi zikh gevuntshn a sakh azelkhe zek mel. di umruikayt in shtot iz alts gevaksn. men hot geredt, az di daytshn hobn shoyn genumen kovne un minsk un zey veln bafaln vilne fun ale zaytn. fun di forshtet hot men genumen antloyfn in tsenter shtot. mir hobn oykh gevoynt in a forshtot un di eltere shvester iz arumgelofn zukhn a dire in di tsentrale gasn. dires zaynen ober gevorn alts tayerer un s'iz shoyn bald b|klal shver gevorn tsu krign afile a tsimer. khuts dem iz shoyn der tate vider gelegn shver krank, azoy, az mir zaynen ibergeblibn di eyntsike in gantsn hoyf un tsvishn di veynike in der forshtot in yener yonkiper-nakht, ven di rusn hobn farlozn vilne. yene nakht hot zikh mir gut ayngekritst in zikorn. di fentster zaynen geven farhangen. di mame hot gevakht baym krankn tatn. zi hot im geleygt kalte kompresn. mir, kinder, hobn zikh getulyet in a vinkl kanape. di eltere shvester hot b|gneyve gekukt durkh di fentster un di mame hot zikh oyf ir gebeyzert. ale rege hobn geknalt biks-shosn un vayte harmatn-dunern. mir, kleynvarg, hobn zikh geshrokn un geveynt. der tate hot gezogt az mir ale zoln aropgeyn in keler zikh rateven un im zoln mir iberlozn, vayl alts eyns iz er shver krank un halt baym shtarbn. di mame hot geveynt un gezogt, az oyb shtarbn iz ale tsuzamen. mir zaynen kentlekh shpeter antshlofn gevorn. oyfgerisn fun shlof hot mikh a moyre|diker knal aza, az di shoybn zaynen tsefloygn gevorn. s'iz shoyn gevorn fartog, mir hobn nit farshtanen dem badayt fun dem gvaldikn knal.. di shvester hot zikh aroysge|ganv|et fun shtub un avekgelofn zen vos es hert zikh in gas. shpeter iz zi gekumen tsuloyfn mit nay[e]s, az der knal hot es oyfgerisn dem grinem brik, un az di daytshn farrikhtn im shoyn. in der fri hobn zikh kind-un-keyt oysgeshotn oyf di gasn. es hobn durkhgemarshirt makhnes daytshn in shpitsike helmen. zey hobn gevorfn lekekhlekh far di kinder. ikh hob oykh gekhapt a lekekhl, nor es iz geven biter vi gal. mentshn hobn geredt mit freyd, az itst vet shoyn vern gut. s'vet zayn punkt azoy vi "zagranitse" [rusish: in oysland] -- alts bilik un fayn. gevorn iz ober punkt farkert -- alts erger un erger. di daytshn hobn genumen alts rekvizirn, iberhoypt kuper. tsu undz zaynen gekumen tsvey daytshn un tsugenumen etlekhe kuper-fendlekh. bay laytn flegt men dos kuper bagrobn in der erd un nit aroysgebn. di krom hobn mir farmakht. keyn moleray iz nit geven un s'iz nit geven fun vanen tsu lebn. di shtot iz vos vayter alts mer farshtorbn gevorn tsivil. der tate hot ge|dayge|t: "vos tut men?" un er iz avekgeforn oyfn dorf handlen. handlen iz shoyn geven farbotn. un men flegt darfn di skhoyre durkhshmuglen durkh di militerishe patroln. men flegt firn oyf di vegener kloymersht shtroy oder zamd un untn in a geheymen tsvishndek flegt lign di skhoyre. oyf aza oyfn hot eynmol der tate durkhgeshmuglt, nor tsum tsveytn mol hot men di baheltenish gepakt un rekvizirt di skhoyre. azoy arum iz shoyn nit geven mit vos vayter tsu handlen. ikh gedenk vi di shvester iz eynmol gekumen mit a khaver|te un di khaver|te hot ir genumen lernen daytsh. vayl itster iz es shoyn in di mode. ikh, nokh nit kenendik kemat keyn yidish, hob zikh ayngeshpart az ikh vil oykh lernen daytsh. ven keyn kegn-taynes hobn nit geholfn, hot mir di shvesters khaver|te oykh ongeshribn a shure daytshishe oysyes un ikh hob untn nokhgeshribn. ikh bin dan mistome alt geven a yor finf. forndik oyfn dorf hot der tate gedungen dortn a shtub in derfl un gekumen mitn forshlog aroystsuforn oyf nit hi. "do, - hot er gezogt - vet men shtarbn fun hunger, vayl di lage vert erger fun sho tsu sho. dort vet er farrikhtn tep bay di poyerem (an arbet velkhe er hot nokh gekent fun di yingl-yorn) un b|klal veln mir zayn nenter tsu di kvaln fun shpayz un broyt. di mame hot ge|tayne|t, az di kinder veln oyfn dorf farvildevet vern. mayn eltere shvester hot zikh oykh shtark antkegngeshtelt. ir hot zikh stam nit gevolt avekvarfn di shpatsir-gasn un kavalirn, hagam yemolt iz es efsher shtark in kop nit gelegn.... oysgefirt hot der tate. un in a gevisn frimorgn hobn mir genumen aynpakn undzere zakhn oyfn eygenem ferd-un-vogn. far mir iz es geven a groyse freyd dos klaybn zikh. kh'hob mit kheyshek geshlept kleynikaytn fun shtub aroys in vogn arayn. kh'hob zikh gezegnt mit mayn bester langyoriker khaver|te. kh'hob ir tsugezogt, az kh'vel oft kumen un ir brengen pozimkes [pozemkes; ze poylish poziomka], truskavkes [ze poylish truskawka] un blumen. zi hot geveynt. kh'hob gezogt: "narele veyn nit"..... dos hertsl iz mir veykh gevorn. der vogn hot gerirt un ikh oyfn vogn mit a yam umbakante gefiln fun freyd, gezegenung, libe un troyer. 3. in derfl zaynen mir ongekumen farnakht. di shtub iz geven a hiltserne mit etlekhe shteyner onshtot trep. mir hobn zikh oysgepakt, geshlept di zakhn in shtub arayn. ikh bin glaykh avekgelofn raysn hoykhe blumen, vos zaynen vild gevaksn arum shtub. ven s'iz gevorn tunkl hobn mir keyn fayer nit ongetsundn un zikh glaykh geleygt shlofn farmaterte oyf senikes [ze poylish siennik; geleger], tseleygte oyf der hoyler erd. keyn padloge iz nit geven. a vintl hot geblozn durkh di fentster. es hot zikh ongehoybn a nay fray frish lebn. fartog fleg ikh zikh aropkhapn mitn yingern bruderl un avekloyfn oyf di nase felder. mir hobn zikh shnel tsunoyge|khaver|t mit etlekhe shkotsem|lekh, hagam mir hobn nokh keyn poylish nit gekent reydn. eyn sheygetsl a shvakhs, mit bloye oderlekh iz geven a meshumed|estes a zun. di meshumed|este iz geven undzere a noente shkheyne, un mir hobn zikh mit ir un mit ir familye zeyer gut tsunoyfgelebt. der zumer iz avekgelofn gikh. s'iz gekumen der harbst mit regns un umet. mir hobn zikh geshpilt in shtub. der tate flegt oyfkoyfn farsheydns in shtot un es baytn oyf shpayz bay di poyerem. di shvester hot geneyt bay di poyerem. fun destvegn hobn mir oft tsugehungert. vinter zaynen mir umgelofn mit borvese fislekh iber der kalter padloge oder geshpilt zikh oyfn oyvn. kh'hob gebenkt nokhn zumer, nor lang iz er nit gekumen. der shvester hot mir in ovntn gelernt leyenen un shraybn yidish. kh'bin geven flaysik. mir flegn oft shpiln in loto mit shkotsem un shikselkes. mir hobn gelebt mit zey gut un zikh zeyer zeltn gekrigt. endlekh iz gekumen der friling un mir hobn genumen farlozn undzer shtub. di baleboste hot aleyn zikh aher arayngeklibn. mir hobn zikh ibergeklibn tsu an ander poyer oyf a bergl. mir hobn do gevoynt mitn poyer in eyn shtub, mernit opgeteylt mit a foder-hayzl. di shtub iz geshtanen kemat in vald. in shkheynes hobn zikh gefunen veldldike zumpn. do flegn mir oft geyn in vald nokh holts, yagdes, shvemlekh. fartog fleg ikh mitn bruderl avekloyfn tsum pastekh. er flegt undz lernen makhn a fayer, untertsindn frishn grozn in feld, bakn bulbes un makhn fayflekh, keyshlekh fun riter. di mame hot ge|dayge|t, az mir vern farvildevet, az mir kenen shoyn kemat keyn yidish nit reydn. "vos vet zayn? vos vet zayn?" bay a por kilometer vayt fun undz hot a yid gehaltn in arende a gut, hot zikh di mame bay im ayngebetn er zol lernen mit undz. eynmol hot zi mikh mit mayn bruderl ahin avekgefirt. der yid iz geven an alter mit a groyser bord, hot zikh mayn bruderl dershrokn far zayn bord un antlofn gevorn in feld arayn tsum pastekh. ikh bin geblibn un ale tog fleg ikh geyn tsum yidn zikh lernen. er hot mit mir gelernt sider un shpeter dem khumesh b|reyshes. er hot gezogt der mamen, az ikh hob a gutn kop un az ikh vel oysvaksn a rov. mayn rebe hot gehat a sakh tekhter. di gesheftn hot gefirt der elterer zun. er flegt handlen mit beheymes, unterkoyfndik di zhandarn. di erd hobn baarbet parobkes. ven der hunger hot zikh in shtot geshtarkt, flegn kumen gantse makhnes hungerike vayber, mener un kinder. der rebe flegt keynem nit opzogn un alemen gebn esn un trinken un dem shayer tsum shlofn. hungerike flegn oykh kumen tsu undz aheym un brengen shreklekhe grusn fun shtot, az men ligt oyf di gasn geshvolene fun hunger, az men grizhet di vent un shteyner fun bruk. men hot gesholtn di daytshn mit di ergste kloles, nor fil hot nokh gedoyert biz men hot genumen reydn, az di daytshn klaybn zikh in veg arayn. di zhandarn un patroln in di derfer un shtetlekh zaynen bislekhvayz neelm gevorn un di poyerem hobn genumen reydn, az di polyakn veln farkhapn di makht. der tate iz gekumen fun shtot un dertseylt, az keyn daytshn zaynen shoyn in shtot nito, az tsvey parties, a poylishe un bolshevitske viln farkhapn di shtot. dernokh hot men shoyn in shtot moyre gehat tsu geyn. shpeter hot men zikh dervust, az a bolshevitske grupe hot zikh farshpart in a moyer un az di polyakn zaynen geven shtarker. di bolshevikes hobn gehaltn shmol un etlekhe fun zey hobn zikh aleyn dershosn. di polyakn hobn ayngenumen di shtot oyf eyn tog. oyf morgn zaynen di bolshevikes gekumen fun rusland. plutsling zaynen gekumen tsu undz tsvey rayter -- bolshevikes in royte rubashkes [ze rusishn rubashka: hemd]. zey hobn dershosn oyfn hoyf a katshke, tsugenumen baym poyer layvnt un esnvarg. undz hobn zey nit getshepet, mir hobn gornit gehat. der poyer hot geveynt, zikh ge|tseylem|t un gebetn zikh. di bolshevikes hobn gezogt az zey muzn un avekgeritn vayter. mayn eltere shvester iz avek in shtot arayn un gezogt, az zi ken mer oyfn dorf nit zitsn. di bolshevikes gibn alemen shteles, vet zi oykh krign. zi iz ongekumen tsu di bolshevikes un zey hobn ir gelernt shisn. di mame hot geveynt. mayn elterer bruder hot genumen handlen mit tvue un frukht. er hot genumen fardinen un zikh haltn groys. di mame mitn tatn flegn oykh shmuglen skhoyre in shtot arayn un fun shtot aroys. fleg ikh iberblaybn mit di kleyne in shtub. ikh fleg ongrobn bulbes in gortn, opsheylen un opkokhn un b|klal firn di gantse balebat|ishkayt. kh'bin mistome dan alt geven a yor akht-nayn. eyn mol hot men plutsling dertseylt, az di polyakn hobn zikh arayngerisn in shtot. men harg|et zikh oyf di gasn. di bolshevikes tretn op. di mame hot gebrokhn di hent un geklogt oyf der elterer shvester. koyln hobn gehuzhet [ze poylish huczec] iber undzer dakh. di bolshevikes zaynen opgetrotn. oyf ibermorgn zaynen tsu undz gekumen dray poylishe soldatn un gezogt az mir zaynen bolshevikes un az men darf undz alemen dershisn. zey hobn geheysn dem tatn oyston di shtivl un geyn mit zey. mir, kinder, hobn zikh tseshrien vi di shepsn. zey hobn dem tatn avekgefirt dershisn. di mame iz nokhgelofn mit geveyn. di soldatn hobn zi ge|yogt un gezidlt mit di ergste verter, nor di mame iz alts nokhgelofn. lebn a bergl hobn zey dem tatn avekgeshtelt. eyn soldat iz tsu un gebetn baym tatn dos gantse gelt. der tate hot im alts avekgegebn. dan hot der soldat gezogt: "vos veln mir hobn, az mir veln im shisn? lomir zikh beser tseteyln mitn gelt un zol er geyn tsum tayvl!" der soldat hot dos gelt tseteylt oyf dray khalokem un zayn teyl hot er b|gneyve arayngedrukt dem tatn. "antloyf -- hot er gezogt -- anit veln mir shisn!" der guter soldat, hobn mir zikh shpeter dervust, iz geven a yid. ven der tate iz gekumen tsurik aheym, iz zayn kop geven ingantsn groy gevorn. morgn zaynen mir shoyn geforn tsurik in shtot arayn. 4. der tsurikker in der shtot hot oyf mir gemakht a shtarkn ayndruk. opgevoynt fun shtotishn tuml, tsugevoynt tsu der dorfisher shtilkayt, iz mir shver geven zikh tsunoyftsulebn mitn geroysh fun bruk. shoyn kemat fargesn di yidishe shprakh, hot zi mir geklungen fremd in di oyern un mit di hoyfike kinder hob ikh di ershte tsayt geredt poylish. di mame hot mikh mitn bruderl avekgefirt in a talmetoyre. dos mol iz zi shoyn geven a bisl modernizirt, nor der lerer flegt nokh alts dreyen farn oyer. opgegangen etlekhe teg in der talmetoyre, hob ikh zikh oyfgeredt mit mayn bruderl, az mir zoln zikh aynshparn un nit geyn mer dortn. s'iz gekumen a frimorgn -- mir geyen nit un fartik. di mame shrayt: "poyerem!" der tate beyzert zikh. s'helft nit. s'geyt avek a tog tsvey, mir geyen nisht. dan firt der elterer bruder undz avek in a yidisher folks-shul. nokh a gringn ekzamen nemt men mikh glaykh on in tsveytn klas un dem bruderl in ershtn. s'iz kanikul-tsayt [kanikules: vakatsye tsayt] un mir darfn nor geyn tsvey mol a tog esn in der shul. di shul iz undz yo gefeln un mir geyen ahin gern. tsum nayen shul-yor klaybt zikh di shul ariber in a nayem lokal. ikh zits di ershte tsayt oyf der shul-bank shtum un farlegn. bislekhvayz krig ikh mut tsu reydn un kh'nem zikh oystseykhenen. tsum sof lernyor klaybt men oys etlekhe besere shiler, tsvishn zey oykh mikh, un tsu nayem lernyor bazetst men mikh azh in fertn klas. natirlekh mit aza shprung hob ikh zikh gehaltn groys. ikh farshrayb zikh in biblyotek un dos ershte bukh, vos falt mir arayn in di hent, iz mendeles "kliatshe." ikh farshtey es nokh veynik, nor fun dem shtoys ikh zikh yo epes on ver s'iz di "kliatshe" un s'iz mir gefeln. kh'krig a gvaldikn dursht tsum leyenen. kemat ale tog bayt ikh a bukh. ikh tsi zikh ingantsn tsurik fun khaveyrem un shpil un kh'fartif zikh in bikher. di lektsyes makh ikh veynik, vayl ikh ken zey gut fun lerers moyl un tsveytns feln mir ale lernbikher. keyn khaveyrem klayb ikh zikh nit tsu. kh'leb eynzam. dos bukh vert mayn bester fraynt. fizish ver ikh opgeshvakht un ven di shul ordnt ayn an opru-kolonye, shikt men mikh oykh ahin. do in der kolonye bin ikh etlekhe vokhn. dos kolektive lebn iz ober dan far mir, dem eynzamen, a last. kh'benk nokh eynzamkayt un oykh nokh der heym. eynmol baynakht vekn undz oyf biksn-zalpn. mir loyfn aroys in di hemdlekh un koyln zhumen iber undzere kep. mentshn loyfn on un dertseyln az di bolshevikes kumen vider. mir pakn zikh ayn un loyfn in shtot arayn. di gasn zaynen pust. farnakht vayzn zikh di ershte royte rayter. di gasn vern ful, derhoypt mit yidn. oyf morgn zaynen ful bolshevikes. royte fonen flatern. di tsaytungen brengen groyse kep: "di royte armey farnemt grodne, bialostok!" un bald: "di royte armey hinter di toyern fun varshe!" kh'gedenk a groysn miting oyfn katedral-plats. fun der hoykher tribune redt men rusish, poylish, yidish, litvish. b|klal iz men itst nokhanand oyf di gasn. ikh ken nit leyenen. ikh ver mitgerisn mitn masn-lebn fun gas. di lerer in shul zaynen tsufridn. men tsolt zey skhires fun magistrat. far di kinder git men produktn un zakhn. kh'krig a gel mantele un gele shikh. umgerikht krign di bolshevikes a mapole bay varshe un zey nemen aylik tsuriktsien, zey farlozn bialostok, grodne un farhaltn zikh in vilne. men nemt reydn, az di bolshevikes gibn avek vilne di litviner. es bavayzt zikh take litviner in shtot mit gele pasikes oyf di hitlen. bislekhvayz tsien zikh di bolshevikes tsurik un es farblaybn di litviner. men nemt shoyn shraybn di shild oyf litvish. di litviner nemen zikh aynbirgern. zeyer seym klaybt zikh iber aher. plutsling a naye milkhome. general zheligovski geyt oyf vilne. on vidershtand kemat farnemt gen. zheligovski di shtot un s'vert kloymersht mitl-lite. bislekhvayz vept zikh oys dos mitl-lite un vilne farblaybt fort bay poyln. ikh gey shoyn in finftn klas. kh'bin shoyn a yor fertsn. a groyser bokher. ikh halt zikh ernst un groys. tsu bar-mitsve leyg ikh nokh fun destvegn tfilen, hagam ikh bin fun kindvayz on nit religyez. nokhn opleygn tfilen etlekhe vokhn varf ikh es avek oyf eybik. bislekhvayz her ikh oyf tsu geyn in kloyz afile nit in shabosem un yontoyvem. afile nit um yonkiper. ikh ken zikh barimen, az kh'hob keynmol in mayn lebn nit gefast in religyezn zin. geveyntlekhe vokhedike taneysem makhmes prost nit hobn vos tsu esn, hob ikh grod gehat nit veynik. fun di limudem in shul iz mir iberhoypt gefeln literatur un shprakhn khuts hebreish. tsu hebreish hob ikh, vi di iberike mayne shulkolegn un kolegins nit gehat keyn shum simpatye. keyn ernste gute khaveyrem un khaver|tes hob ikh nit gehat. di shuld iz efsher geven mayne, hagam balibt bay di lerer un shiler bin ikh yo geven. men hot mikh lib gehat far mayn shtilkayt, ruikayt un basheydnkayt. ikh ver fizish alts shvakher un shvakher. epes vos -- fardrikt mikh shoyn dos harts tsum veynen. me shikt mikh tsum tsveytn mol in an opru-kolonye. do baken ikh zikh mit a hoykhn yungn in mayne yorn. mir lebn zikh zeyer gut tsunoyf. zayn basheydener mesiker kharakter iz zeyer enlekh tsu maynem. mir bazukhn zikh eyner dem andern oft. mir vern intim un mir krign zikh keynmol nit. gantse tsen yor keseyder. mir farblaybn di beste khaveyrem bizn hayntikn tog. ikh ver alts nervezer un kaprizner. in shtub makh ikh oft b|roygez|n un es nit. ikh tseykhn zikh oys in di shriftlekhe arbetn un di lerer nemen mikh haltn far a shrayber. es rukt zikh on di tsayt fun endikn di shul. es kumen dayges: "vos vayter?" di shul iz a zeks klasike. ikh vel mistome zikh lernen vayter. in shtub vil men oykh ikh zol zikh lernen. der siyem. tsulib a kindershn kapriz, vos iz mir umfarshtendlekh kemat biz hayntikn tog, zog ikh di shtubike, az es tut mir vey der kop un ikh gey nit oyf mayn eygenem siyem. ikh shik tsu durkh a khaver an eygn farfast lid: "adye dir shul, vu ikh hob gelernt!" dos lid bet ikh zol men forleyenen efntlekh. kh'hob mistome kinderish oysgerekhnt, az dos lid vet makhn an umgehayern efekt. tsum nayem lernyor kum ikh on in der akht-klasiker yingl-shul, in zibetn klas. do iz mir shver zikh tsunoyftsulebn mit di kinder un lernen. di lektsyes farnakhlesik ikh. ikh leyen umoyfherlekh yidish un poylish. kh'leyen a sakh poezye, ober oykh fil proze, beletristik, oykh populer-visnshaftlekhe bikher un rayze-bashraybungen. b|klal leyen ikh on a sistem, oyf eygener akhrayes, ober oyf ale gebitn gemisht. kh'ver nervezer un nervezer fun tsufil leyenen un eynzamkayt. ikh entfer op sharf di lerer oyf zeyere taynes, ikh, der shtilster shiler derloyb zikh tsu gebn a trask mit der tir, ven men shikt mikh aroys fun klas. endlekh antzog ikh zikh fun ale lektsyes, khuts yidisher literatur. farn yidish-lerer shrayb ikh on a groyse arbet vegn "kleynem mentshele" [mendeles "dos kleyne mentshele"]. ale iberike lerer ignorir ikh. es kumen konfliktn un skandaln. zey shrayen un shrekn mit oysshlisn. in der heym pruv ikh shafn zelbshtendik lider un proze. ikh vayz a por lider dem yidish-lerer un im gefelt. kh'bin gliklekh. ikh vil vern a shrayber. ikh troym vegn velt-rum. endlekh bakum ikh groyse kop-veytikn. ikh gey tsum dokter. er heyst mir varfn dos lernen, dos leyenen, zikh farnemen mit sport, zayn vos mer oyf der frisher luft. nervn, nervn, nervn. 5. ikh ken zikh ober nit gezegenen mitn bukh un kh'muz leyenen bay di greste kop-veytikn. di eltern makhn skandaln un raysn mir s'bukh fun di hent. endlekh nem ikh zikh in di hent arayn un varf dos bukh, dos mol oyf etlekhe yor. ikh ver a futbolist [fusbolist] yene yorn 24-25-26 zaynen geven futbol-mageyfes. di gantse vilner menlekhe yugnt, on untersheyd fun elter un natsyonalitet, iz farshlungen gevorn fun futbol [fusbol]. di futbol-matshn flegn bazukht vern fun tsendlinger toyznter, alt un yung. nit keyn lign zogndik, iz nit geven kemat keyn eyn yingl in shtot, vos zol nit hobn geshpilt in a yinglsher futbol-komande. azoy vi der dokter hot mir gezogt, az ikh zol shoyn beser shpiln futbol eyder leyenen, hob ikh endlekh zikh detsidirt un kh'bin ongekumen in a yinglsher futbol-komande. fun onfang bin ikh geven zeyer a shvakher shpiler. bald ober tseykhn ikh zikh oys. kh'nem shisn ofte goln. mir rufn aroys andere futbol-komandes fun undzer glaykhn oyf matshn. di matshn kumen for oyf di merk. ikh ver a barimter shpiler un loyfer tsvishn di yinglekh. mayn komande klaybt mikh oys als ir kapitan. glaykhtsaytik ver ikh oykh der sekretar fun der manshaft. ikh farshrayb ale matshn undzere. di nitskhoynes un mapoles. mayn futbol-period gedoyert dray-fir yor. dos zaynen yorn fun tuml un umgehayerer koykhes-farshverung. tog un nakht flegn mir shpiln oyf a farlozener tsigelnye, in der gezelshaft fun di ergste zhulikes, gasn-yungen, gemeynste zidlerayen un grobe reyd. tsu mir hobn zikh ober di mis|e reyd nit geklept un keyn tifn shtempl nit geleygt. bislekhvayz geyt der futbol-tshad farbay. es kumt di oysnikhterung. di por meshuge|ne futbol-yorn hobn ober fulshtendik farhartevet mayn nervn-sistem. ikh fil zikh oykh fizik muskulirter, shtayfer un gezinter. s'iz oykh forgekumen a groyse enderung in mayn kharakter. mayn shvakh eydlfilndik harts iz tsugevoynt gevorn tsu baleydikungen un brutalitetn. di gezelshaft fun gezunte yinglekh, vos lozn zikh nit shpayen, vi men zogt es, in der kashe, hot mir oykh gelernt tsu zayn fest un nit tsekrokhn in der batsiung tsu mentshn. s'iz farfaln gevorn mayn shemevdikayt. als kapitan fun mayn komande hob ikh zikh oysgelernt tsu zayn bafelerish un shtreng, hagam dos iz mir ongekumen zeyer shver tsulib mayn mildn kharakter. azoy arum hob ikh gevunen fun di etlekhe tumldike futbol-yorn un tsuriktsiendik zikh vider in der bikher- un shrayber-velt, hob ikh mitgebrakht a sakh zikherkayt in di eygene koykhes un a bavustzayn, az vos ikh zol nit veln dergreykhn, vendt zikh es koydem-kol in mir aleyn. 6. mit di dozike shures dernenter ikh zikh tsu mayn kegnvart. a sakh verk in proze, poezye un drame ruen in mayn shuflod. zey veln keynmol mistome nit derzen di vayse velt, nor dos geyt mir shoyn itst a sakh veyniker on vi mit etlekhe yor tsurik.... mayn velt iz di literatur un a zeyer enger krayz fun balibte khaveyrem. hagam es frest mikh oyf a far|akshn|ter pesimizm iz mayn batsiung tsu der tsukunft fun der mentshhayt a mer-veyniker optimistisher.... mayn vayter ideal iz: di mentshhayt -- eyn folk. di velt -- eyn land. vilne, 4 yuli, 1932** --- heores 1) vegn dem lernen fun yidish in kheyder, ze Nokhem shtifs bamerkungen in "TMR" band 01, numer 011. * di dozike oytobiografye iz geshribn gevorn tsum konkurs fun biografyes fun yidishe yugntlekhe vos der "yivo" in vilne hot durkhgefirt in yor 1934. ** ibergedrukt fun: leyzer volf, "lider", gezamlt fun l. ran , opgeklibn un redaktirt fun h. leyvik., nyu-york: alveltlekher yidisher kultur-kongres, 1955, zz" 25-42. *** romanizirt fun: claus buryn redaktirt fun: Refoyl finkl --------------------------------------------------------- End of _The Mendele Review_ 01.024 Leonard Prager, editor Send articles to: lprager@research.haifa.ac.il The editor of _TMR_ can also be reached via _Mendele_'s homepage: http://www2.trincoll.edu/~mendele/ Send change-of-status messages to: listproc@lists.yale.edu a. For a temporary stop: set mendele mail postpone b. To resume delivery: set mendele mail ack c. To subscribe: sub mendele first_name last_name d. To unsubscribe kholile: unsub mendele ****Getting back issues**** _The Mendele Review_ archives can be reached at: http://sunsite.unc.edu/yiddish/TMR